Cruelty Read online

“Thank you, El. I’ll uh, just let you finish up. Oh, and thanks for letting me stay, even before I came in here.”

  “Just because the word ‘cruel’ is on my clothes doesn’t mean it’s in my heart, Theo. I wouldn’t put you on the street like that.”

  “Just another reason you’re the best, El. Dinner should be done when you’re out.” He sent me one last breathtaking smile, then walked out.

  I blew out a long breath and shoved myself under the shower head. I was probably going to need a cold shower after that. What the hell was I doing? One second, I was just missing him as my friend. The next, I was wanting him to say he wouldn’t accept just friends. Why did shit have to be so complicated? No. Not shit. Me. I was being complicated. I was too scared of everything. I ran away from the guys, then I grabbed onto the life preserver Theo had just thrown me like a complete fucking coward. Why couldn’t I just get over my bullshit and accept what they were all throwing my way?

  Wait. All? Now I was being greedy. I really had lost my damn mind. I could barely face the feelings just one of them was making me feel, let alone face them all. I didn’t know why I was running away. Sure, the guys had cut me deep when they hurt me, but I was a big girl now. If I couldn’t handle the risk of what possibilities they might bring, I didn’t deserve them anyway. And Theo had just given me an out, yet blatantly admitted why he slutted it up, all while telling me he had feelings for me. I was literally surrounded by men who clearly wanted me.

  And what was I doing? Hiding out in the shower and sniffing shower gel like a psycho.

  Maybe I did need to tell Zoe everything. She was the only person not afraid of pissing me off. She’d tell me how it was and what I needed to do. I nodded to myself, decided that that was exactly what I’d do.

  I just hoped she could help me figure it out.

  As he promised, after my shower I found Zoe and Theo sitting on the couch with plates already in their hands as they ate and flipped through the channels on the television. I fixed myself a plate and sat at the other end of the couch opposite from Theo. Every now and then out of the corner of my eye, I’d see him staring at me. Several times I caught him, making him merely smile wider. I would feel a blush creep into my cheeks everytime. All the while, Zoe sat on the loveseat completely oblivious to what was going on next to her.

  I really needed to get her alone at some point tonight.

  “Shit!” she suddenly shouted, setting her plate down on the table in a rush and turning the volume up on the TV.

  My blood ran cold at the sight of the banner flashing across the screen in front of the chief of police.

  Breaking news: Lead comes in on Darling Shelter animal theft…

  “We feel we have a solid lead on whoever stole our animals and ask the public to please help us keep an eye out for a white truck, suspected to have previously been a food truck. We captured video of the vehicle fleeing the scene from video at a neighboring store,” the police chief said. Then a black and white, slightly grainy video shows my truck clear as day driving past the convenience store just down the road from the shelter.

  Zoe and I exchanged looks, before quickly turning back to the TV.

  “The vehicle is seen traveling north on Interstate 101 but is again lost just past Lime Point after exiting the Golden Gate Bridge. If anyone has any info on the truck, please call our CrimeStoppers hotline.”

  Zoe immediately shut the TV off and dropped the remote. We all sat silently for a minute, none of us daring to even breathe as we took in what we just heard.

  “How the hell would they know your truck was leaving the Darlings? They don’t have a video of the truck there or leaving there, only passing by,” Theo finally said.

  “Someone had to have seen us leaving. Thankfully, they only saw the truck. Not who was driving it. We’re still okay. Anyone who knows us or that truck wouldn’t turn us in.” Zoe seemed completely sure that we were fine, but my stomach rolled around inside me.

  My phone rang next to me, causing me to jump in surprise. I was really going to lose my street cred if small things kept making me jump. I swiped it up and saw Rollins’ name displayed on the screen.

  “Hey,” I answered.

  “You are freaking out. I knew it,” he replied. “Told you that news story would freak her out.” I heard him say away from the phone, obviously to Luca, who then laughed in response.

  “No I’m not. Shut the hell up.”

  “Sure. I know you. You’re freaking out. What’s your address?”

  “Why do you need my address?”

  I looked up to see both Zoe and Theo watching, each with a different expression. Zoe already seemed to know who I was talking to and smirked. Theo, on the other hand, looked confused.

  “Because we’re in the car driving aimlessly around looking for your car. We knew where you worked, but not your address.” He had said it as if I should’ve known why he needed it.

  “You are not coming to my apartment,” I scoffed. “And how would you hear about the news story if you’re driving?”

  “Yes the fuck we are,” he replied in a tone that said he wasn’t taking no for an answer. “We have more we need to talk to you about, but you stormed out. Only took us a minute or two to decide you weren’t running away from us, and we followed after you. Oh, and Luca saw it on Facebook as soon as the live feed started playing ten minutes ago.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I said, ignoring his answer about how he’d seen what was going on.

  “Tell me something I don’t know. Like your address.”

  “And if I don’t?” I challenged.

  “Ella… seriously.”

  “Ugh. Fine.” I rattled off the address and apartment number to him then hung up angrily. Not like you could really do that on a cell phone. Sure, you could push the button hard, but it wasn’t as satisfying as it would have been with an old landline type phone. Those were the good old days.

  “Who was that?” Theo asked slowly.

  A pit was already forming in my stomach before he even asked. I knew this would get awkward. He’d promised to keep his jealousy at bay, but I knew that was easier said than done. I honestly felt bad, but yet again, I would’ve been a dick to just not give the guys the address. They were already in town anyway. So I answered honestly.

  “Rollins. He and Luca are almost here. They decided to pop in for a surprise visit.” I smiled, but it was strained. I had hoped on the way home that I could avoid them until at least Pretty went into labor. Now, I was going to be forced to listen to them. I couldn’t chicken out and run home because I was already here.

  The fuckers. They knew exactly what they were doing.

  “Ah. Well, I can go find something to do. My coworker Dakota at the shop asked if I wanted to go grab a beer tonight anyway.”

  “You don’t have to leave, Theo,” I said, feeling even worse by how defeated he looked once again. It wasn’t fair to shove my exes under his nose like this.

  “Yeah. They’re cool guys. At least, they were when I knew them,” Zoe said with a shrug.

  “Even though they hurt her?” Theo responded, pointing at me.

  She shrugged again. “El is a big girl and seems fine to me.”

  Theo wasn’t given the chance to escape when a knock sounded at the front door. Zoe hopped up to answer it and I moved to Theo’s side. “I really wasn’t expecting them.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to assure him. I couldn’t control his jealousy, but I could try to let him know I wasn’t trying to hurt him after his admission.

  “It’s cool. Really. I made a promise. I’ll stick to it,” he whispered as Zoe opened the door and began greeting the guys.

  “Luca! You haven’t changed one bit,” she said, hugging the man in question, who hugged her back warmly.

  The guys had genuinely loved Zoe and treated her like a sister when I dated them. They never minded when she tagged along and had become almost as close to her as they were to me through it all. It didn’t surprise me to see them still
greeting her like an old friend.

  “Damn, girls and guys alike must be flocking to you, Z! What the hell is in the water you and El have been drinking?” Luca teased.

  She snorted and shoved his shoulder, then moved to hug Rollins next. Zoe had been the only other girl Rollins would give one of his genuine smiles to, and that hadn’t changed. He hugged her just as warmly as Luca had.

  “Good to see you, Z,” he said. His eyes found me over her shoulder, and he smirked.

  Luca rushed at me and swallowed me in a big hug. “You ran away from me today and it was so not cool, El. I cried. Like a big fucking baby.”

  “You’re a shit liar, Luca,” I snorted as I hugged him back a little more uncomfortably. Theo watched us, but his expression said nothing. I extracted myself as fast as I could, not wanting to see his face morph into anything unpleasant. “This is Theo. He’s our other best friend.”

  Luca busied himself stretching his hand out to Theo and introducing himself as Rollins walked right up into my space and snagged my chin with his finger and thumb. “Don’t run away from us again,” he whispered. “We need to explain everything to you and we can’t do that if you run. Let us?”

  His hold on my chin was gentle but firm, and his eyes held an intensity that was as close to begging as Rollins had ever gotten to. My eyes flicked back and forth between his deep green ones, and I nodded. What else would I say? The sooner I let them explain whatever they wanted to, the sooner I could hide away again.

  Ugh. I was such a coward.

  Satisfied with my nod, Rollins let go of my chin and joined Luca in talking with Theo, who I once again caught staring at me every so often. Zoe wrapped an arm around me and saw me staring at the guys as they spoke, smiling really wide.

  “I really do envy you,” she whispered. “Three men who like you, two of whom have no idea that the third is eye fucking the shit out of you while they speak to him.”

  “Speaking of the third, I do need to talk to you about that. Badly.”

  “Say no more.” Zoe let out a loud whistle, gaining all the guys’ attention. “I’m taking miss Two-Tone here to the roof with me for a smoke. You three talk amongst yourselves and don’t fucking come up that fire escape or I’ll cut your balls off.”

  I rolled my eyes and placed my face in my hands. Zoe was anything but subtle. Now it was obvious we were going up there to talk about them. Luca and Rollins caught on immediately, and both grinned knowingly at us. Poor Theo only looked mortified to be left alone with them. I sent him a grimace, hoping it told him how sorry I was, before I was shoved out the window leading to the fire escape, then dragged helplessly behind my best friend.

  When we reached the rooftop, we both sat ourselves on the wide concrete ledge and dangled our feet over the edge. Zoe handed me a cigarette out of her pack and we both lit up, breathing out at once and letting the smoke mix with our foggy breath billowing out into the cold night. The sound of car horns and loud music a few streets away in one of the clubs greeted my ears. I suddenly felt like I could breathe out here. I hadn’t realized how suffocated I was feeling in the apartment below. The mix of the three of those guys wreaked havoc on my emotions.

  “It’s a lot to take in. I can see it,” Zoe said, gazing at me with a soft smile.

  I sighed. “It is. I don’t know what to do, Zo. I didn’t tell you something that I should’ve before you invited Theo to stay with us.”

  “What is it?”

  I took another drag of my cigarette and stuffed one of my hands into the pocket of my sweater to fight the chill in the air. It wasn’t entirely the crisp fall air that had me on edge, but the unease I felt inside me. “Theo kissed me the other day.”

  Zoe’s dark eyes bugged out of their sockets. “Seriously? What happened?”

  I shrugged. “We were walking back from getting Chinese that night you left from the shop, and I don’t know. He got so angry about everything with the guys. Jealous more so than angry. He told me he’d harbored more than friendly feelings toward me.That I was blind for not seeing what was right in front of me. Then he just angrily kissed me and walked away. I was speechless. I had no idea he felt anything more than friends. I mean, I’m not an idiot. He’d been hinting at wanting to hook up since we met, but I thought that was all. A quick roll in the sack and that’s it. But it wasn’t.”

  Zoe blew out a breath. “Shit. That’s heavy.”

  “Yeah. Then today, Luca was touching me and making me feel things again. Then Rollins crowded into my space and touched me even more, and I went off. I took the coward’s way out and yelled at them for treating me like some kind of toy. I just didn’t want to hear them explain why they’d left me. I was too afraid of only being hurt worse.”

  “Or forgiving them,” Zoe added, catching on quickly to what I was feeling.

  I nodded. “They all scare me. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Theo, but I’m pretty sure that’s shot to shit. He promised me tonight he’d put away his jealousy and wanted to be friends again, but you saw him. The jealousy was still there.”

  “Ah. That’s why he went into the bathroom while you were showering.”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, that jealousy is not going to go away. Sure, he could hold it back, but that doesn’t mean it’ll just up and disappear. I’ve seen the looks he gives you when you aren’t looking. I’ve seen them since the beginning. That boy is hopelessly in love with you. Same with those two hotties in there with him. Personally, I think you need to put your big girl panties on and face everything head on. Quit being a little bitch.”

  I snorted and elbowed her. “I know, but what if I can’t? Someone is going to get hurt, Zo. Whether its me, or the brothers, or Theo. Someone is. I can’t have them all, contrary to my past with Luca and Rollins. Theo isn’t into that and those other two were possessive of me. They could share me with each other, but no other.”

  “So, someone gets hurt. Hurt is inevitable. But would you rather sit here miserably alone when there’s a possibility you could find happiness somewhere in that awkward circus downstairs? Cause honey, none of them are walking away. I can tell you that much. If you want them all, take them. Theo can’t walk away because it’s obvious he’s tried by keeping up his parade of women bullshit. And those other two never stopped loving you. You need to hear them out and you need to decide what you want. Not them. Who knows, maybe no one will get hurt and you’ll end up in the sexiest Big Mac Burger you’ve ever been in.”

  “Big Mac Burger?” I sputtered out with a laugh.

  “It’s the only thing I could think of that had three buns. You can’t just be a regular sandwich cause that’s only two buns or bread or whatever. So, it’s your Big Mac.”

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  “But genius. Admit it.”

  “Never.”

  We sat up there a little longer, both of us still laughing about her awful sandwich/burger reference, before we finally decided we put poor Theo through enough torture.

  When we came back inside, Luca and Rollins were both sat around the TV, but Theo was nowhere to be seen.

  “Where’d Theo go?” I asked them.

  “Said he was going out with a buddy tonight and he’d see you both later,” Luca replied. “Feel bad for the guy. It’ll take a week or so before they can fully fix that pipe in his apartment. That’s shit luck.”

  Zoe and I exchanged worried glances, but we schooled our features before joining them. I had tried sitting beside Zoe, but was immediately grabbed by Rollins as I attempted to pass and shoved down between him and Luca on the couch. Zoe chuckled lightly under her breath.

  She then sent me a wink as she went to sit, but then jumped up as soon as she had. “Oh! Shit. I have to go meet Becky for drinks at the Rave tonight. Looks like it’ll just be you three here tonight. Think I’ll stay with her overnight in case Theo comes back and needs a bed to crash in rather than the couch. You kiddies have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  I gl
ared Zoe down as she smiled wickedly and quickly gathered her stuff, leaving the room before I could so much as protest.

  “That was convenient,” Rollins stated, clearly not the least bit convinced Zoe had a prior engagement at all.

  “Becky huh?” Luca asked me.

  “New girl. They’ve been sleeping together for a few weeks now. Seems nice.”

  “Ah. So what about you?” Luca asked, catching me off guard.

  “What about me?”

  “You’re smarter than that, El,” Rollins whispered in my ear. “Are you seeing anyone?”

  “Mmmm nope. No one,” I answered a bit shakily. Even though it was technically the truth, it felt wrong. Like I wasn’t caught up in some weird love square.

  “Not even Theo?” Luca prodded, sliding a finger across the top of my hand that rested on my leg next to him. “He looked at you like you were his.” His voice was husky. Sensual. It sent those familiar shivers along my spine.

  “I’m not seeing anyone. And even if I was, I wouldn’t tell you,” I replied, finding my confidence and shoving myself up from my seated position between them. “The only thing you two should be concerned about is explaining to me whatever you came here to explain.” I crossed my arms and leveled them with a stare that said I wasn’t joking or falling for their same dirty tricks.

  The brothers looked between each other, then back at me.

  “You’re right. Sorry, El. We just can’t help ourselves around you. You can’t deny the chemistry is still there. We missed you.”

  I stood there for a moment just looking between them, almost deciding to lie to them and deny I felt anything. But I was getting a bit tired of denial. All it did was render my heart cold, ignoring what was still so obviously there. Mad at them or not, the pull to them was just as strong as it was when our story together began.

  “Yes. It’s still there,” I relented. “But it’s fragile. How can I trust anything you two are about to tell me?”

  “By remembering what we all felt was real,” Luca replied. “We may have handled the break badly, but every moment with you was one hundred percent real. Can you do that for us?”